HELP with my messy house?

Wow! And I thought it was just me who's house explodes in one day. Glad to find out it isn't . I would be after my husband all the time to help me. Help me with things like doing his laundry and keeping his bathroom clean, and cleaning up his own mess in the kitchen. We have no children, only the four legged ones that bark and yet I still had to clean up the outdoor potty area every other day. Yes we both worked for years and years then he retired and I was laid off. We have been married thirty five years as of yesterday. My husband died two months ago of bone cancer. I will aways be sorry for not being a better wife. Why didn't I do his laundry? Or clean his bathroom as it really wasn't his fault he was like that. His Dad died when he was a tiny boy and his Mom raised him alone and did everything for him.After all, back in those days it all was woman's work and that is how he grew up thinking that was the way it was.I miss him so much and would wait on him hand and foot if I had him back again. You know I used to follow my husband around to cleaning up after him.I feel I was a rotten wife and a *itch for not taking care of him the way I should have. I just wanted to tell you this story,I don't know why. You know what? My house still explodes even without him. Maybe it is me!